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Fuzzy February

by Christopher Knott

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1.
Channels 04:09
I was only killing time Swimming back channels of my mind First they claw; then they bite; then they grind These back channels of mine Out of the water Out of the muck Out of every calendar box Out of order Lacking something I once knew but later forgot
2.
I’ll truth you but you’re not gonna like it I’m losing my need for the whole thing Need for the whole thing Excuse me if it seems I’m mired Confusing your touch with desire Sex with desire Listen I’ll tell you, “I’m stronger” Sought solace in simple wonder I know I’m careless but lover I won’t move ‘fore you find some other Does autumn really feel like the best time To place all of this trouble behind This trouble behind Closed fists for your meaningless reasons I’m appauled, getting ready to give in Ready to give in Listen I’ll tell you, “I’m stronger” Found solace in simple wonder I know I’m careless but lover I won’t move ‘fore you find some other Stop gap, time kill, life plug Bath mat, weak will, ink smudge Track rat, pink pill, white fuzz Whatever it is I was Whatever it is I was In that thing you call love Yeah, that filthy tiny thing you call love Filthy tiny thing you call love I’ll truth you but you’re not gonna like it I’m losing my need for the whole thing Need for the whole thing
3.
I aim this gun Toward everyone The favorite son A setting sun I cocked it back They turned to run He turned to run You turned to run Oh, still wanting all the time Still wanting all the time, oh I focus in On all this sin And start to grin And breathe again The thoughts collapse When they walk in When he walks in When you walk in Oh, still wanting all the time Still wanting all the time, oh
4.
With... 01:26
5.
...Anything 03:29
And I was born to love Something obvious Something great enough To inspire distrust And is this feeling just? Do we need to much? Isn’t showing up A reward enough? A reward enough And I have shuffled decks Rid my palms of sweat Held my head in check Tried my very best But the cards conspire And nervous hands perspire And my brain is wired To inflame not inquire Something big… Or something small… Engulf my heart And quiet its call With anything… With anything… With anything
6.
Bag 02:17
You stole a bag of delusions Purple contusions paint your face Steeped in a windowless room That’s brimming with choices you have made Your eyes are starting to fade Spring dawns, with air fit to breathe But there’s no relief in turning green Bonfires and cigarettes lit A Jack Daniels’ nip fit up your sleeve Your eyes are turning to leave You were out of stories you were out of quick fixes You were out of your mind you had called it quits Broken bottles and bulbs spinning out of control You were out of your mind you were calling it quits You were out of stories you were out of quick fixes Broken bottles and bulbs spinning out of control You stole a bag of delusions Purple contusions paint your face
7.
Shut the door, the lights, the shades Wriggle in my bed, deranged A fuzzy February has me aching for the rain To tumble, wildly, earthbound and to wash away this shame I wonder how do time, snow, bliss, and pain evaporate? And when is it too late? Haven’t sensed a single kiss Mind deluded, heart amiss A fuzzy February has me praying for a mist To cloud my addled conscience and to blanket me in bliss I wonder where my crimes - disclosed - and sins go, once forgiven? Every second, every minute? Shut the door, the lights, the shades
8.
On the rarest occasion A small taste runs me back Or a smell or a sound Or the feel of my feet on the ground I smile endangered And the picture begins to crack And it scatters around While a faint afterimage resounds And I have tried paint it Distill it, explain it I have tried to keep it mine But no matter my effort I cannot reclaim it A casualty to passing time Armed with tools of persuasion I rage on the attack And I dig deeper down Just to have a look around But all I do is enrage it And I’m overcome by black Everything that I’ve found Is engulfed by the dark that surrounds And I have tried paint it Distill it, explain it I have tried to keep it mine But no matter my effort I cannot reclaim it A casualty to passing time
9.
Do the Data 03:41
I’ve been seeking significance In simple coincidence And deeming fortune heaven sent And dreaming I’ve been logging every face I see In notebooks, puzzling spreadsheets And noting patterns dilligently And needing Do the data lie? Or do they inspire? This crippling bemusement This wonder and amusement Can our humble eyes Make the pieces all allign? I’ve been thumbing through taut manuscripts Overcome with an escalating bliss Weeding out words which seem to contradict And reaching I’ve been forging paths to here and there And I’ve concluded with a solemn air The connections which both bind and ensnare Us are fleeting Do the data lie? Or do they inspire? This dizzying confusion This desperate solution Can our humble eyes Make the pieces all allign? Can my humble eyes Make the pieces all allign?
10.
The Milkman 04:00
Loved the milkman for a spell, I admit That grey-eyed, chalky-templed misogynist Oh to bask in his bliss again Now the orange I just ate flavors my lips And upon my windowsill sits pies that I baked for the shelter folk to guess… The quality of: Sweet Potato or Pumpkin? Had a 28k party in my driver’s seat With voices speaking loudly of the modern mythology Mmmm…what good company Moving pictures battle static on my T.V. screen All thirteen inches of which provide fodder for my waxing dreams Talk shows; news magazines And acronyms, they come to me. I think I have a knack Yes I’m an H.H.A.S: Human with Heightened Acronymic Sense It’s an original, but you can use it, too, I suspect My calendar collection decorates my every wall I open bank accounts, buy coffee beans, someday I swear I’ll have them all Nailed up so they won’t keep falling Some mornings I dream of existing invisibly Living day to day aimlessly But the milkman’s got those hands Those temples, eyes, lips and teeth To keep me accepting of solidity

about

What a better way to spend a bitter winter than recording a bunch of fuzzed-out rock and roll songs. Enjoy!

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released March 20, 2011

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Christopher Knott at home in Coventry, RI.

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